Waking up alone – This is not new for those who have been single since birth, and to those who have been for so long. You always wonder if someone will also reciprocate or even surpass that feeling that you’ve shown for others. For most of your “all by yourself” moments, you’ll eventually get used to being alone and dating yourself all the time. Yes we have friends who tirelessly paint smiles to our faces and keep things in good vibes. Once the euphoria starts fading, you still look for that special person who will touch you from the inside. Someone who will make you realize that you are also special in his/her eyes no matter what happened.
Reality is, the sad part does not necessarily come from those silent realizations, but to those people around you. It’s hard when they label you as an overreacting person when you only hope for the best for your love life. You only operate the way you wanted to be treated by your would be partner. In their eyes, you are just a lost individual who is wasting his time being the right person. As I try to open myself to others, they told me that they’ve been there. With the hurt that they’ve experienced, they tried to take me on-board to the “misery loves company” bandwagon. For them, attention and love from others is to be purchased – literally. They tend to call themselves mature for outgrowing any of the real emotions associated in truly loving someone, and accepting that all of us are meant to be treated like crap. In short, having someone love you for who you are is a hoax for them.
I honestly felt sorry for how they feel. When you are just crossing your fingers to find the right one, it is inevitable to stumble upon them who aim to bring people to a state of melancholy. As they tried to educate me for their so-called “standard of living”, it slowly made me question my significance as a human being. Should I just be like them? Enjoy sleeping around and define love as collective one-night stand experiences from strangers? Am I really made to be taken for granted?
With all these negative feedback, I decided to finally shut my ears to them and start to surround myself with positive people who can lift my spirits. Their toxic advices are just too much for me to handle. While drafting this post, I wrote down my thoughts to their words, and to help others who have encountered this type of people.
“Maturity is not about tolerating the wrong things that others are doing to you. It’s about knowing how you should be treated and forgiving yourself for allowing someone to take advantage of you.”
“We all deserve all the respect and love in the world. We are all worth it.”
“Learn whom you should lend your ears. Always stick to people who know how to empathize and can give you a nice tap on your shoulder.”
“The right person will freely and willingly reciprocate the love that you are ready to give.”
“They have their life experiences. We draw our own path and our lives should not depend on what they have encountered.”
“Single” can indeed be a powerful word. Its definition can expand from the pain to something that is full of promise. Surviving the single life might be tough. Remember, behind all the bitterness is an independent you whose shine should never be dulled. You don’t need to prove them anything. Just continue being you who has a positive outlook in your single status. When we find true love someday, it will definitely create and counteract echoes to what they have expected us to be.
Photos taken in Somerset, Alabang.